Before we had Ava I was always wanting to get together with friends and family but here lately things have changed. I've had days of crying over my guilt of wanting to be a hermit crab. When the weekend is getting close all I want to do is be home with Ava and Joey. I don't want to go anywhere, see anyone, or want anyone to drop by. I want them all to myself. This feeling makes me feel uncomfortable and often times depressed because I have never felt like this before, and I feel selfish for thinking that way. It's nothing against my friends or family, or anything they have done because I love them all very dearly. It's just that ever since returning to work I feel like I have very little time to spend with them. I have been very open about these feelings with my husband and he has been absolutely wonderful. He listens and understands how I feel, but still encourages me to get out and about, have friends and family stop by, and to keep our relationships going while still making time on the weekends for just us. Even though I feel this way, relationships are very important to me and something I need. When I have exciting news to share, need advice, going through a rough time, need a shoulder to cry on, or someone to laugh with, my friends and family are the ones I turn to. Without them I would feel lonely in this world and disconnected. My husband know this and I am so very grateful that he has been helping me get through this time.
Making plans to go bowling last Friday was like a roller coaster of emotions (I feel like I have been on a lot of roller coasters lately). When my husband brought it up I said of course! Then as the week went on I slowly regretted saying yes, then I was happy again, these up and down feelings kept on until we got there. Once we were there all those feelings went away and I just enjoyed the moment I was in with my family and friends. At the end of the night I was so happy we went and thanked my husband for encouraging me to go. I was able to spend time with my family while seeing friends we hadn't seen in a while, making new friends, and creating memories.
If you are having these feelings I encourage you to be open and honest about them to someone. Try and find a balance and don't live your life as a hermit crab. Good strong relationships are healthy. Don't shut out your family and friends because at the end of the day you need them and they need you.
Now on to bowling night...
We had a blast! It was a little loud but our house is always loud so Ava didn't mind at all. Of course we had to take our family picture as it was Ava's first time at the bowling alley. These are some snap shots of what it's like these days trying to get Ava to smile for a picture, let alone look at the camera.
Let's just squeeze those cheeks...
Come on now...smile Ava...
Ok I guess this might be the weird parent status...
Oh look here's a big giant orange ball...
Ahhh!! Don't lick that nasty thing! (First time mom face)
It's hopeless...let's just smile for the camera!
Well after our family bowling alley photoshoot was complete we enjoyed the evening with great friends!
We stayed up waaayyyy past our bedtime but the memories that were made and the new friendships that began were way worth it and much better than being a hermit crab. I had no regrets going!
We even went to Taco Bell on our way home! The conversation in the car sounded something like this...
Me: "Honey you drove past our street."
Joey: "I know, I am getting something to eat."
Me: "Oh, is it Taco Bell?"
Me: "Do you think they are open?"
Joey: "Yes, it's only 11:00."
Me: "Oh yay! I feel like such a rebel. It feels like my college days again!"