Well my first week back to work was...well my first week back. I honestly didn't think I would cry leaving Ava at daycare but who was I kidding. I definitely cried! The first day Joey was off work because of a shift change for the week so he was able to come with me to drop Ava off. Even though he was home we wanted to still go through the routine and then he picked her up early. We walked in and everything was great. No tears yet, and then as we kept talking to her teacher my eyes started to fill up. One tear came and then the rest joined in. As we were walking to our cars these cute little ducks gave me some comfort as they followed me to my car. Then they realized I wasn't the woman with the food so they left. More tears came pouring out.
On my way to work I started to listen to the Tractor's Christmas Album until it made me sad thinking of how I would rather be listening to this near my Christmas tree with Ava, so I turned on John Butler instead.
When I got to work I was greeted with many smiles and hugs. I soon found my way to my classroom. I walked in and saw that it was a HUGE MESS! Next thing you know here came the tears again. I guess that's what happens when you have a substitute for three months. I found my way to my desk and saw a surprise package from my friend waiting for me with all these goodies in it. It definitely made me feel so much better! She even thought about Joey and put some Reese's in there for him.
The next thing I did was cover my room with pictures of Ava. A friend of mine told me that when work is hard it helps to have pictures of those you love around you.
The daycare was very nice and told me that I could call anytime if I wanted to check on Ava. However, I was good and didn't call one time that day. They probably think I am some crunchy, crazy, first time mom with all the questions I ask them every day when I drop her off and pick her up but that's for another blog post sometime soon. Very soon!
Anyhow, I have a great group of students. They are very loving and very sweet and eager to learn. The stresses of being a teacher are still all there. Throughout the week I really struggled with learning how to balance it all. I kept telling myself I wasn't going to do ANY school work at home and that I would enjoy my time with my husband and daughter. Well that didn't happen. I still did some school work, and of course crazy thoughts came rolling into my head. If I do school work does that mean I am not giving all my time to Ava? If I give all my time to Ava does that mean I am not being a good teacher? The answer to both questions is NO and I am sure these thoughts will slowly fade away. I am trying to figure out how to be a great mom and a great teacher and a great housewife. See before I had Ava I use to get up in the mornings before work and do all my cleaning in the house. Well now that is a little difficult. Some mornings I do school work, get lunches ready, take care of Georgia (our fur baby), feed Ava or just have some ME time. I know it's my first week back and I shouldn't have it all figured out yet. I also know that once you get it figured out, they say something changes and you have to start all over again. Either way, after all the tears and breakdowns I take my Mother's advice and remember all the blessings I have in my life and all the things I am grateful for. When work gets hard and stressful I remember what a good friend of mine once told me, there is life outside of work. She couldn't be more right.
When I got home the first night I found a welcome packet from Ava's teacher. She told us a little bit about herself and included this calendar of all the crafts and fun things they will be doing this month. I am already thinking of ways to hang her art work in our home. I have an idea using some things from Ikea.
The week went well. I would like to say it went by fast but it didn't. I would like to say I only cried the first day but I didn't. I cried throughout the week. Thank goodness for waterproof mascara and good eyeliner. I would like to say it got easier but it didn't. I HATE leaving Ava at daycare. I also know that it is a fact of life and that there are a million other people who have to take their children to daycare and who balance all of life's many aprons. I would say that I would love to be a stay at home mom but I don't. I love being a teacher and I know that is what I am meant to do. Does that make me a bad mom saying I don't want to stay home with my child? No! It's just the way of life. I know that right now I am not supposed to know how to balance it all and that I will figure it out soon. I also know that I couldn't have gone through this week without my loving and encouraging husband, my family, or my wonderful friends. I leaned on everyone this week. The overflowing messages I received this week from family and friends telling me that they were thinking of me, praying for me, wishing me a great day back, or just checking in to see how I was doing, meant the world to me! I couldn't have made it through the week without the love and support I received from everyone near and far. I am truly grateful for all of you!
Oh and I forgot to mention what someone asked me on Friday during lunch. You won't believe this. A lady from the district office asked me what was my bun in the oven. I said, "Excuse me?" and she says, "Is it a boy or girl?" I replied, "I had a girl 3 months ago!". Who the heck asks something like that? A little piece of advice...NEVER ask someone if they are pregnant unless they are 8 months or more pregnant. Lord have mercy!
Anyway, thank you everyone for your love and support and for joining along with me on this new journey.
One week down and one more to go before